Sometimes I wish for a break. Does anyone else here feel the same? It’s hard being a stay at home mom. Cooking and cleaning and take care of your little ones including the dog. Also I baby sit on the side. It gives me a sense of fulfillment. But it’s not easy. Waking up early every single day to make breakfast and lunch for your man. Constantly cleaning and cooking and cleaning again While trying to work out and stay fit and get ready for the day. I mean who wants to come home to there girl looking like a mess? It’s a lot of work. I’m Also ironing and doing laundry on top of all that. Even thou it’s hard I honestly truly do love my life. I love that I get to hold down the fort and take care of everyone. I’m not complaining at all. I’m actually truly thankful for this life. But sometimes I do truly do wish for a break. Maybe just a little one. But I’m so use to staying so busy what would I do with my time? Lol
So I’m a stay at home mom who takes care of my little girl while also baby sitting on the side. I’ve been baby sitting for a while now and it sucks sometimes when you make an appointment to meet a new family and they never show! like not even a text or call to say “hey sorry I’m going to cancel” Nope those lazy bastards just disappear like a ghost. Like our meeting never existed. I mean what if I had plans that day or what if I wanted to make plans that day?! Nope, instead I waited at home for a non existent appointment to never show. lol Omgosh how frustrating. But that’s okay. Maybe its a sign, maybe the parents are crazy or there kid was extremely disobedient and was going to destroy my house. Or maybe they got into a car accident god forbid. Who knows what happened to that appointment. Who knows…. lol.
Sometimes you have to learn to choose your battles. Especially when it comes to dealing with a two year old who thinks they run the world. Life can get complicated and messy at times but its definitely worth the struggle and fights.
I know sometimes life may seem scary especially when it comes to the opposite sex in our relationship. I know this because I have the worst insecurities when it comes to the thought of another woman and you. I feel worthless and ugly a lot of times. I feel like I wish to be more. You tell me that I’m perfect and I’m so very truly thankful for that. But I know I’m not. Daddy, I need you to know that no matter what you may think I would never ever do anything to hurt you. I am your little slave, your little pet, your very sweet innocent little baby girl, your lover I truly am, I love you more than I love anything else and anyone else in this world. I love you soooooo much I am extremely loyal to you my daddy. And I completely submit myself to you. And your also my most very best friend. Life honestly makes no sense without you my daddy. I would never ever dream of hurting you not even the single thought of my imagination will ever contain hurtful things or images to my daddy. Papi, I’m so very loyal and faithful to you. I’m so very sweet and kind and so extremely submissive. I am owned by you master. Daddy you truly are the love of my life. You have given me so much more than I can ever truly Imagine. You have given me love and happiness. You have given me a home. You have given me safety and security. I know in the past we have both done thing awful things to hurt each other. I know we have said some very terrible things and have physically and mentally drained each other. But the only reason why it was draining and hurtful is because we truly are so very much in love. All I see is my daddy. And all you see is me. ❤ You love me so much you told me not to have a plan b that I am forever yours and you are forever mine. I never even considered it. In all my crazy and wild imaginations and fantasies everything only contains you my daddy. All I can picture for the rest of my life is my daddy. I picture us getting married one day. I picture us having our kiss on our wedding day. I picture you coming home to me. And I serving you. And I know we have both been married and hurt before, but I honestly need you to trust that I would never ever disrespect you master. I would never ever dream of hurting you or replacing you. I sit down every day in my collar looking at the time waiting patiently and panicky for my daddy to come home to me. You’re such a big deal to me and I know you know it is to you as well. Because we both truly love each other. We both truly need each other. My Daddy when your angry at me it feels as though something inside me is ripping and tearing my heart into pieces. It feels like the sun disappears and its dark and cold and rainy and thunderclouds are surrounding me. I want to hide into my blankie and just cry and cry and cry. I ask god and beg him to help me talk to my daddy because he knows how much I need you I desperately need my daddy. He knows it. And god does help me just as he helps you too my daddy. I get so lost and confused thinking you no longer want me or love me. Even though I know that’s not true I know you truly do need me too. I know you truly do love me and your working so very hard to come home to me to. To the little girl you fell madly in love with. Daddy this is so very hard for me. I wish it were easier. But the thing is your so very much worth it to me. Your worth everything. Sometimes I can’t even eat or sleep or even stay awake. But I know why. It’s because my daddy is not home with me. And because I am so very little I get extremely home sick. I need you to know my daddy that I’m always going to be waiting for you. I’m always going to be needing you. I’m always going to be submissive and only seek my daddy attention. I promise I will always wait for you my daddy. I promise with all my heart. I promise I will never ever break yours because our hearts are truly combines as one and it would kill me so very badly to now have my daddy. I know you will be home so very soon it feels like an eternity though and things will get better. It will get easier. Ill be able to hold your hand again and follow you around like your little pet. And cook for you and take care all your sexual and emotional and even physical need as your little slave should. I would be able to have such wonderful laughs with my daddy and be daddy goofy little girl as your best friend should. Because I am your very little girl we have a special bond that no one not anyone can ever take away from us. I am Daddy’s little girl. Forever and Always. Please don’t be angry at me anymore my daddy. Please know that I do wear my collar and I always will continue to wear my collar without hiding it or ashamed of it. I’m so very proud that you own me. I’m so very proud to know that my daddy has my leash. I’m so very proud of us. I’m so extremely proud to be yours and only yours. You saved my life. You changed me for the better. You deserve a good girl. And that’s what I am and that’s what I will always be. Daddy’s very good little innocent sweet kind shy little girl. Forever and Always. You brought me home and cleaned me up and made me happy. I am not my own person. I am property of my daddy. ❤ I love you so very much my daddy. You truly are my life. Forever and ever and ever and ever. Muah ❤
These are a few simple rules daddy has set for me. If I break them there will be consequences. I must always live by daddy’s rules. He can add more if he chooses to later, ❤
1. I belong to my daddy he is my master and my owner I shall always obey.
2. Daddy’s word is final. Because daddy knows best
3. I must always look cute and act adorable
4. I can’t touch my self unless my daddy says I’m allowed to or I send daddy pictures and videos of papi and patches teaching me ❤
5. I can’t be mean to daddy
6. I can’t call daddy horrible names
7. If I behave I’m allowed to ask daddy for a new stuffy but I must prove I deserve it
8. I must always be honest with daddy and tell him when something is bothering me
9. I can’t say bad words. Those are only for big people
10. No talking back to daddy
11. No watching scary movies
12. No drinking or going out to parties
13. Always do your chores
14. Always come to daddy with any problems
15. Always remember my manners because princesses always must be kind
16. Never wear panties with a dress
17. Don’t talk to daddy about money
18. Bed time is 11:00pm No exceptions
19. Needs to be in bed by 10:00pm no exceptions
20. Curfew 8:00pm No exceptions
21. Must always wear my collar, especially when leaving the house
22. Tell daddy I love him 100 times a day
23. Always check in with daddy every hour
24. Always ask daddy for permission with everything I wish too
25. Always let daddy know where I’m going and with whom but always ask for permission first
Being in a relationship with a man who is deployed overseas is one of the hardest thing anyone can do. Especially when you’re so very little.
The thing is… I have the type of relationship where I am little, and he is big. And I am needy and small and scared, and he is big and brave and dominant. Extremely dominant. I’m very submissive and obedient and tend to be shy at times. I follow what rules we have in this relationship. He doesn’t ask for a lot. Truth is I honestly don’t think for myself. I allow him to do all the thinking for me. I check in at least once and hour, so he knows I’m safe. I love it. I love how small and fragile I feel and how he allows me to continue to stay small and fragile. I never knew I was like that. I had no clue, and neither did he. He tends to be strict at times when he needs to be and some what stubborn. But because of my personality we collide to very well together.
How do you become a little? I have no idea. I guess It just naturally happens with the right person. Maybe it’s the personality? Who knows. But all I know is that it works out so very well. He buys me teddy’s that I love and adore with all my little heart. I hug them every single day and night. He appreciates the little things that I do for him. Especially when I color. I love coloring for my daddy. Because that’s just what he is. He’s my daddy, my papi my forever and always my true soulmate.
We weren’t always like that though. No way. Lol When we first started “talking” I was a brat. A huge brat. I tried to fight him and argue with him on certain things. We broke up a lot, but I was to determine to make him mine. I couldn’t lose him. Something inside me knew that I needed him I was lost and afraid without him. I was in a dark place. Crying all the time and shutting myself out from the world. What did he do to me? Why couldn’t I be okay? I have no idea. It was hard. Being away from him was hard. I felt sick all the time and depressed. I needed my daddy. Finally, I decided I will no longer fight him. I will listen to him and obey. I will wear my collar and that’s just exactly what I did and that’s when things started to change. For the better of course. He set certain rules aside and it wasn’t because he’s controlling it was more like to help protect our relationship. He is so very protective and I love it. I’m his little girl and he makes sure to let everyone know including me that I am his little girl. Checking in on time every hour for instance. That wasn’t hard to do. I loved it. I still love it. I do it because it makes him feel safe, secure knowing that his little girl is doing what she’s supposed to do and is safe. I love that he cares so very much about my safety. I have a curfew 11 o’clock in bed. No excuses. Reason for that is because its so very late and why would I need to be up past that time anyways? A lot of relationships fail because the woman or man is out past midnight hours doing what ever they please. Nope not me. I have way too much respect for him than to go do something so foolish. I worked way too hard to be where I am now. We both have. Whenever I wish to go do something I always ask him for permission first and let him know exactly where I am and when I got there for my safety. I’m honestly so very innocent and he loves it. He shows me things and teaches me so much. He’s changed my life. He spoils me. I couldn’t be happier. I don’t ask him for anything but at the same time I feel like I ask him for a lot. I ask him to always love me and to stay loyal and faithful to me. That’s just exactly what he does. I have a good man. A strong man. Even though he is so very far away from me and as much as it hurts me, I know he would never ever do anything to hurt me. It really was a battle. But certainly, one worth fighting for. ❤
Deployment sucks. You know this, I know this. WE ALL KNOW THIS.
Especially when you’re the one waiting for your partner to arrive. You have no clue what they’re doing. I know my boyfriend is faithful or for which I’m praying, but every single blog post I read someone is always saying something shady is going on. Why do I let that get to my head?!!
There will be days where it feels like I don’t hear from him. So much time has passed it scares me. I get to the point where I feel so panicky. My heart starts racing, my mind starts telling lies and it feels as though I can’t breathe. I get really panicky. My body feels weak and I get so shaky. I turn pale. I honestly feel like I would pass out given the chance. He tells me “Be strong, chin up little one” But those words are what hurts me most. If only he knew how I truly felt waiting for him, maybe then he would say so much more. But I get it. He has to focus on his mission. I hate this, I hate waiting. But the thing is I love it at the same time. That’s the brutal truth. It’s like a test, to see how strong our love really is and as hard as this is right now I would and will always continue to wait for him. NO MATTER WHAT For he is the love of my life. Not just the love of my life. He is my soul mate, my partner my one and only. My Daddy. ❤