Little to Big

Being in a relationship with a man who is deployed overseas is one of the hardest thing anyone can do. Especially when you’re so very little.

The thing is… I have the type of relationship where I am little, and he is big. And I am needy and small and scared, and he is big and brave and dominant. Extremely dominant. I’m very submissive and obedient and tend to be shy at times. I follow what rules we have in this relationship. He doesn’t ask for a lot. Truth is I honestly don’t think for myself. I allow him to do all the thinking for me. I check in at least once and hour, so he knows I’m safe. I love it. I love how small and fragile I feel and how he allows me to continue to stay small and fragile. I never knew I was like that. I had no clue, and neither did he. He tends to be strict at times when he needs to be and some what stubborn. But because of my personality we collide to very well together.
How do you become a little? I have no idea. I guess It just naturally happens with the right person. Maybe it’s the personality? Who knows. But all I know is that it works out so very well. He buys me teddy’s that I love and adore with all my little heart. I hug them every single day and night. He appreciates the little things that I do for him. Especially when I color. I love coloring for my daddy. Because that’s just what he is. He’s my daddy, my papi my forever and always my true soulmate.
We weren’t always like that though. No way. Lol When we first started “talking” I was a brat. A huge brat. I tried to fight him and argue with him on certain things. We broke up a lot, but I was to determine to make him mine. I couldn’t lose him. Something inside me knew that I needed him I was lost and afraid without him. I was in a dark place. Crying all the time and shutting myself out from the world. What did he do to me? Why couldn’t I be okay? I have no idea. It was hard. Being away from him was hard. I felt sick all the time and depressed. I needed my daddy. Finally, I decided I will no longer fight him. I will listen to him and obey. I will wear my collar and that’s just exactly what I did and that’s when things started to change. For the better of course. He set certain rules aside and it wasn’t because he’s controlling it was more like to help protect our relationship. He is so very protective and I love it. I’m his little girl and he makes sure to let everyone know including me that I am his little girl. Checking in on time every hour for instance. That wasn’t hard to do. I loved it. I still love it. I do it because it makes him feel safe, secure knowing that his little girl is doing what she’s supposed to do and is safe. I love that he cares so very much about my safety. I have a curfew 11 o’clock in bed. No excuses. Reason for that is because its so very late and why would I need to be up past that time anyways? A lot of relationships fail because the woman or man is out past midnight hours doing what ever they please. Nope not me. I have way too much respect for him than to go do something so foolish. I worked way too hard to be where I am now. We both have. Whenever I wish to go do something I always ask him for permission first and let him know exactly where I am and when I got there for my safety. I’m honestly so very innocent and he loves it. He shows me things and teaches me so much. He’s changed my life. He spoils me. I couldn’t be happier. I don’t ask him for anything but at the same time I feel like I ask him for a lot. I ask him to always love me and to stay loyal and faithful to me. That’s just exactly what he does. I have a good man. A strong man. Even though he is so very far away from me and as much as it hurts me, I know he would never ever do anything to hurt me. It really was a battle. But certainly, one worth fighting for. ❤

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